I put down the car window and I lift my hand, a hello, a secret hello. With one hand she carefully pulls her ponytail over her shoulder and it's more the gesture of a woman than a girl.įor the first time in her life, I think our daughter looks like me. The dress your wife bought her is too small and I can see that her hips are growing, that her chest is blooming. Now she's looking at me sitting in my car. You'll leave crumbs on the tile floor of the foyer. The plate she's holding is stacked with carrots and cookies. Her face is half lit by the lantern above your house number. When I look back up the girl is standing at your open front door. I don't normally watch for this long, but you're all so beautiful tonight and I can't bring myself to leave.

You turn around and her attention is pulled back to the room. Your back is to her so you can't see what I can, that she's holding her stomach with one hand, that she rubs herself ever so slightly and then looks down, that she's lost in the thought of what's growing inside her. She laughs and collects her long, loose curls to the side. Your wife, she's in the chair now, and she's watching the three of you bounce around the room. This is when you'd have read her The Polar Express. I turn on my wipers, adjust the heat, and notice the clock change from 7:29 to 7:30. The snow, the kind that sticks, the kind she'll roll into snowmen in the morning to please her little brother. You can read an excerpt from The Push below. ' The Push is a gripping and psychologically probing exploration of the bonds of family, the complexity and loneliness of motherhood and the devastating nature of grief,' Penguin Canada's publisher Nicole Winstanley said in a press statement when the book was acquired. The Push is about a woman who is experiencing motherhood for the first time, but it's not like anything she expected - in fact, it's everything she was terrified it would be. Audrain currently lives in Toronto, where she is raising her two young children.ġ4 Canadian mysteries and thrillers to check out It was picked up in Canada by Viking Canada, an imprint of Penguin Random House Canada, where Audrain previously worked in the publicity department. The book's manuscript sold in several countries around the world, including the United Kingdom and the United States, earning Audrain more than $1 million. The Push is Canadian author Ashley Audrain's first book, but the domestic thriller is already expected to be one of the biggest books of 2021.

The Push by Ashley Audrain